When you don't feel ‘safe’, what state does your mind and body enter into, and what can you do to feel ‘safe’?
I would like to share some insights I recently gained from sessions of chiropractic treatment, coaching, and Metamorphic Technique.
<Insights from a chiropractic treatment (about eye movement)>
Last weekend, I visited a chiropractor who specialised in neurology, whom I had been seeing for many years.
At this chiropractic clinic, the first thing they do is to check eye movement.
It turned out that my eyes were difficult to move side to side smoothly, and when I tried to move the eyes, my head moved along with them.
Moreover, when light was shone on my eyes, the pupils remained dilated, all of which gave my chiropractor an impression of myself with a sense of desperation.
Hearing this, I recalled being asked by my gym trainer a few days earlier if I took enough breaks after her watching my stiff shoulders, and I finally realised that my daily life had been in a ‘desperate survival mode’ lately.
This is because I was recently informed that my work contract would end in a few months, and since then I would have been unconsciously living under stress and rushing through days.
＜Insights from the chiropractic treatment (about shallow breathing)＞
In such a desperate survival mode, my breathing became shallow.
In addition to shallow breathing, I mentioned to my chiropractor that when I twisted my neck backward, I felt dizzy.
He explained that the dizziness was due to the vestibular system (balance sense) being out of balance, and that the vestibular system requires sufficient oxygen to function properly.
In other words, when breathing becomes shallow, oxygen supply decreases, which makes the vestibular system doesn't function well.
To make it worse, when oxygen supply decreases, nerve cells have a tendency to seek stimulation (that is to engage in stress-inducing activity) on their own to prevent cell death.
Reflecting on myself, I realised that when I was tired, I tended to spend time facing the computer, and as he explained, I temporarily got energised, but then only to get tired in the end.
＜Breathing and stress responses＞
Here is my summary of what I read about ‘breathing’ and stress responses from my Brain Gym textbook.
How we breathe is directly linked to our stress levels.
As breathing is originally a source of strength and stamina, we should be able to gain power simply by breathing naturally.
On the other hand, if we struggle with breathing, it may be because we have learned that achieving something requires effort, control, or external pressure.
This is a state where the breathing reflex is insufficient, and holding one's breath has become a habit when performing an action.
This stems from the body having learned that holding one's breath is ‘safe’ for survival after experiencing a traumatic situation as if the neck were constricted.
In this state, the muscle proprioceptors are not to be reset even after such situation passed, and the body continues to makes us hold our breath for survival.
Breathing is related to the entire body-mind, and when we tend to hold our breath, our body stiffens and our mind becomes alert, avoiding relaxing or having an enjoyable time.
Breathing and bodily states are unconsciously controlled by the brainstem, making it difficult to resolve this pattern on our own.
＜Insights from a coaching session＞
On the same day I received the chiropractic treatment, I was scheduled to have a coaching session with the lady, whom I got to know at Calvin Coyle's free coaching course.
She was participating in that course to brush up on her coaching skills.
In that session, she proceeded with the coaching based on Calvin's coaching model consisting of four steps:
1. Situation: What is the current situation?
2. Objective: What do you want to do in the future?
3. Any challenges: What is preventing you from achieving your vision?
4. Resolutions: What can you do now?
For me, the ‘current situation’ is having lost my job, and the ‘my vision’ is about the direction I want to take as a therapist.
I then discussed the issues that came to mind, such as my inner anxiety and self-doubt that I was inadequate and unable to achieve my vision.
As we continued our conversation, she suddenly asked me, "How do you think about 'safety'?".
I had never thought about it before and when I heard the word ‘safety', it felt like it would be the root of the problem, and my mind went blank.
Perhaps I had never truly felt ‘safe’ before, and that's why I had felt excessive stress in an unstable situation of losing my job.
At the end of the coaching session, we had a ‘resolution’ step, which was a process of discussing a proposal the coach made to me.
She first mentioned that it would be a good idea to be aware of my own perception or cognitive biases that shape my perspective.
Anything is not an absolute fact; and so it would be necessary to become aware that it is simply my own perception.
I also liked the exercise of ‘nurturing myself with self-hug’ she proposed to help me feel ‘safe’, that is placing one hand on the chest and the other on the abdomen, hugging myself.
When she asked if I could do the self-hug this weekend, I first said that I had a client the next day and would take time to hug myself afterwards.
She then suggested that I try to take time to hug myself before the client arrived, and I realised that prioritising myself is the most important thing.
While having a fundamental resolution in one coaching session was difficult, I found what I noticed in the session was a significant gain.
＜Insights from a Metamorphic Technique session＞
The next day, before the client arrived, I took time to hug myself and also imagined doing so several times.
As I prepared for the requested session of Metamorphic Technique, the confusion I had from the coaching session about ‘safety’ gradually dissipated.
This would be because, unlike coaching or other sessions, practitioners of Metamorphic Technique are required to completely clear their minds and follow these three steps:
1. Notice the fact.
2. Acknowledge the presence.
3. Let it be.
In Metamorphic Technique sessions, practitioners neither focus on the client's concerns nor consider solutions.
It is believed that the best wisdom resides within the clients themselves, and so the most important thing is to create space that allows them to connect with their wisdom.
In that sense, practitioners do not perform healing or therapy on clients, but rather intend to spend time with the clients in a state of oneness.
When in a state of oneness, we connect with our own wisdom, and necessary events unfold naturally without the need to actively seek solutions.
For me, every Metamorphic Technique session is a precious opportunity to connect with oneness with clients, and I am always filled with gratitude.
<Insights after the Metamorphic Technique session＞
After the client left, I truly felt happy that she had come to me to have a session.
And at the same time I deeply felt that no matter what issues arise with me, there was nothing in lack because I was fulfilled.
I was then able to become aware of my perceptional pattern of believing that I did not have enough, which prevented me from feeling safe and drove me to constantly strive to do something.
In the coaching session I had, I noticed the issue, acknowledged it, and although I didn't know the specific solution to get over the issue, by ‘letting it be,’ I felt that the issue within me had somewhat transformed.
Finally, in conclusion, I introduced two seemingly contradictory sessions -coaching and Metamorphic Technique - in this blog, and some of you may feel confused.
Depending on the person and situation, I believe both are important.
Just as in coaching, where you set a goal, being aware of issues, and considering resolutions, simply letting everything be in Metamorphic Technique can also be an invaluable experience.
While I do not offer coaching at my clinic, I do offer Brain Gym sessions, where I help clients set goals and notice their thought and emotion, with some activities to integrate the brain and body.
Furthermore, according to the Polyvagal Theory, which is about the function of vagus nerve (one of 12 cranial nerves), ‘oneness’ (connecting with others) is considered essential for feeling ‘safe’, and Metamorphic Technique may also be recommended in this regard.
I hope this discussion provides some insights for those of you who are unsure about which session is right for you or who have similar issues related to ‘safety’.